Back to Hell... Back to Normal Life..

Yes... again after a long time, this time.. I will try to blog everyday, lets hope it turns out to be kewl this time. Today, I had a pretty busy day apart from my regular project I worked on some extra stuff too. As usual I cant say no.. and If I like working with that person then definitely there will not be a No. Still things were in control. I also bashed the bugger(The one that has made my life like a hell - A living example of non-professionalism known as Anakonda:P). I came late as I wanted to fix certain stuff then spend some time surfing/chatting and went to bed...

Damn It... I won it..

Hmmm....I do not live life king size but..I thought if I don't blog about this today and at this time and from this place(Right Here... Right Now... :P) then I will be doing an injustice to myself.

So as per my style, instead of blogging after a long period of time I am doing it right away...

Date : 13th October, 2007.
Time : 12 : 41 AM
Place : Floor 2, Reception Area(Free Internet Access :P) of http://www.starwoodhotels.com/sheraton/property/overview/index.html?propertyID=172

I joined this company last year and as soon as I joined, I was lucky enough to attend an annual company meeting at Bangalore. That was awesome fun attending it. There was an annual award ceremony was going on and I was sitting in the crowd and I was thinking that when I will get this..maybe next year...? and Voilaa.. maybe I am too lucky or maybe I am blessed(I like the letter part). And voila.. today I got it.. I am here in a beautiful city called Bangkok and...today in afternoon session of the company meeting, I won an award for innovation(It was a team effort and.. from a huge team four people were chosen to represent the entire team and luckily I was one of them...). And the moment came... I was so happy.. and anxious too.. I wanted to speak something... but my mind was not in the state of saying anything so KS did the honour. He mentioned each and every member of the team and gave due credit. It was really a great experience, when I was a kid, I was used to win various awards - elocution, science quiz, essay writing, drawing etc but then it was on a very small scale and those were not my basic skill set while this one was on a larger ground and I really enjoyed the moment. Anywayz.. the moments.. passed by.. and.. here I am ... its almost 1 AM here and I am really tired and I don't know what I am writing but still... I am happy today and I thank everybody who played direct/indirect role to make me reach here...I think I should stop now....there is one more post...keep watching...

I wish I would have told her... - Touched my heart...

10th Grade

As I sat there in English class, I stared at the girl next to me. She was my so-called "best friend". I stared at her long, silky hair. I wished she were mine, but she didn't notice me like that. And I knew it. Afterclass she walked up to me and asked me for the notes she had missed the day before, and I handed them to her. She said "thanks" and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I wanted to tell her. I wanted her to know that I don't want to be just friends. I love her, but I'm just too shy. And I don't know why...

11th Grade

The phone rang. It was her on the other end. She was in tears, mumbling on and on about how her love had broke her heart. She asked me to come over because she didn't want to be alone, so I did. As I sat next to her on the sofa, I stared at her soft eyes, wishing she was mine. After 2 hours, a Drew Barrymore movie, and three bags of chips, she decided to go to sleep. She looked at me, said "thanks," and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I want to tell her. I want her to know that I don't want to be just friends. I love her, but I'm just too shy. And I don't know why...

12th Grade

The day before prom she walked to my locker. "My date is sick," she said. He's not going to go. Well, I didn't have a date and in 7th grade we made a promise that if neither of us had dates we would go together just as "best friends," so we did. Prom night after everything was over I was standing at her front door step. I stared at her. She smiled at me and stared at me with her crystal eyes. I want her to be mine, but she doesn't think of me like that, and I know it. Then she said, "I had the best time, thanks!" and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I want to tell her. I want her to know that I don't want to be just friends. I love her, but I'm just too shy. And I don't know why...

Graduation Day

A day passed. A week passed. A month passed. Before I could blink, it was graduation day. I watched as her perfect body floated like an angel up on stage to get her diploma. I wanted her to be mine, but she didn't notice me like that, and I knew it. Before everyone went home, she came to me in her smock and hat, and she cried as I hugged her. Then, she lifted her head from my shoulder and said, "You're my best friend, thanks!" and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I want to tell her. I want her toknow that I don't want to be just friends. I love her, but I'm just too shy. And I don't know why...

A Few Years Later

Now, I sit in the pews of the church. She is getting married, now. I watched her say, "I do" and drive off to her new life, married to another man. I wanted her to be mine but she didn't see me like that, and I knew it. But before she drove away, she came to me and said, "You came!" She said, "thanks!" and kissed me on the cheek. I want to tell her. I want her to know that I don't want to be just friends. I love her, but I'm just too shy. And I don't know why...

Funeral

Years passed, and I looked down at the coffin of the girl who used to be my best friend." At the service they read a diary entry she had wrote in her high school years. This is what it read: I stare at him wishing he were mine. But he doesn't notice me like that, and I know it. I want to tell him. I want him to know that I don't want to be just friends. I love him, but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why.

I wish he would tell me he loved me... I wish I would have done that too... I thought to myself, and I cried.

I bought my first Digital Still Cam

WOW.... tired... totally... didn't sleep last night... and.. didn't sleep the whole day.. actually.. since last few days... I am not sleeping well...LOL... this has been happening since a long long time... sleepless nights.. since I've come to Hyderabad. Anyways in the evening, everyone was interested in going to Ahmedabad to check out some jewellery exhibition and I said wow... free ride to Ahmedabad and I wont have to drive... so I jumped in. I set up a quick meeting with Rikin and we decided to meet near to Fun Republic. I dropped all the family members at Rajpath Club and rushed to FR ... though its only two minutes drive... I like to do it... drive like nuts in Ahmedabad...:P and reached FR. Within few minutes Rikin was there and then we started hunting.. yeah I was looking for a decent digital cam and then.. I immediately calle up Pradeep for more information as I am no more...the information keeper about digital cams. He suggested to go for DSC W70. So we looked in two-three stores while talkin about my new job and his new job at ESS and lot of all stuff. But we could not find a single store selling any DSC W100 and I was running out of time as I needed the cam for tomorrow's celebration. Atlast Rikin left and I went to Rajpath to get everybody and so we can go home to Gandhinagar. On our way I saw Sony World on S.G. Highway and my father stopped the car. After spending some time looking at other options, I finalized for Sony DSC W100 for a handsome amount. Anywayz we came back after getting some other stuff for myself.

After coming back to Gandhinagar we decided to go back to Ahmedabad and get kites so I headed back to Ahmedabad. I called Chirag and Roank to come so we can go and buy kites together. Again it was fun, it was so crowded even at midnight that we could hardly manage to reach our car after buying kites. Now I look forward to tomorrow... the big day... my first Uttarayan after we moved to Gandhinagar. I will sure put some pics once I get some free time...

Click Here to read about Sony DSC W100.

LOL.. Going back to home...

I know... I am not being my self anymore, I am changing... they are positive ofcourse, but they are killing me... slowly... one by one... they are fading all away... my rage.. my passion to hunt my foes.. my anger that has been my driving force... my hatred that has been my life line.. and in this phase... strangely... I miss my family.. my friends... and Ahmedabad keeps calling me... Ahmedabad... as I am writing.. I felt something.. that raised inside... for a second... maybe a thunderstorm of feelings that came along with the name Ahmedabad... there are so many memories woven with this name... this polluted... crowded.. dirty city...where I was used to race against time on a scooter to reach college...where my heart missed a beat when I saw a cute face on my first day at college.. where I felt the first raindrops and complained to god why I am alone.. where I got some of my best friends... where I learnt things that helped me to survive the world outside... where I was used to feel like a king ... where I travelled in overcrowded bus no. 50... where my father taught me some of the best lessons of my life.. where I learnt that you will not get everything you want in your life.. where I... naaah let me stop here... it can go on and on...I am happy... today... I was there in Ahmedabad... just 15 days back.. and now I am getting a chance... again.. to go back... today is Friday... and tomorrow is my flight.. as usual early morning spicejet flight that takes me home in exactly..1.30Hrs. I am so excited.. I just don't have words...lets see...

Oh My God!!! I got a Passport!!!!

I know... I know how lame it sounds... but you know its... fun... after lotsa hassle.. I have got it at last... today I flied from HYD to AHM in the early morning Spice Jet flight(Yeah.. that's cheap too...) and then I reached AHM on time... as usual I drived back to home... it feels so nice when I get to drive. One thing I miss after coming to HYD is driving my car though its a pretty old one(7 n half year to be specific) its amazing when it comes to pleasure part of driving. Anywayz I did some time pass as usual... went to see Team ESS members and took enough care to not to mess like last time when I booked the ticket for the next day. Anywayz we reached to Passport office in time and then started the long wait..... it was nothing special.. but had to wait... wait.. n wait.. and luckily... I got it.... I missed some procedure(Dont you think that I am the king of 'I Mess it all' region?) and so ended up at the end of the game. I was the last one to get Passport on that day. Anywayz! I took it ... bought some sweets for my friends in HYD and flied... as usual the flight was late and had to wait a lot.. but it is ok... today was my day... I cleared a big hurdle... ie to get the Passport. Now I have one more challenge, I need to get US Visa. Let's see when I get it.

My favourite on Picasa : The World : As I See It...

The World... As I See It...

What the Hell.....The why I dont have a Passport? story

I must admit that I must be out of my mind when I decided that I will not get a passport 3 years back when I started my career with ESS. It wasn't only that I didn't want to hurt my father's feelings and never wanted to go away, it was somewhat laziness too 'cause at that time Passport was used to take a looooong time... yeah ... really long time... and was kindda odd process to follow. And after coming out of my initial craziness about US I thought I'll never ever go abroad. I thought I will not ever need a passport. Over the time my father was used to bring passport forms 'cause he thought one day I might need it. And yeah I remember he filled in the forms for me 3-4 times... but I never signed them... was thinking I don't give it a damn. I don't wanna go anywhere ... why I'll need a passport?

And then... I moved to Hyderabad in an amazing software development firm and as soon as I met my manager, the first thing that striked me out from the air... was : what???? YOU DON'T HAVE A PASSPORT? so I went all frenzy and called home that I will have to get a passport. And then we began the process and there were too many hurdles and then at last I got it right and my application went in directly to the Regional Passport office and then I went there to submit it on time... and woooo... what I come to know is I wont be able to do it as ACCORDING to the rules I didn't have enough documents. So I had to go back home and gather them. Next day.... another monkey sprang out of the box saying the document I have produced is not proper it should be done the other way... and I was .... Holy.... Cow... for god's sake... can somebody tell me... what's going on in here.... anywayz after a lot of road-running, high-adrenaline action I could submit my application but trust me it was tough and I must say I did nothing... my father did all the hard work for me... and I take this opportunity to thank him... I am not sure whether he is going to read this or not but I felt like people who read my blog(may be no one reads this blog...) must know the truth that without his help I would have never submitted my passport application and ofcourse when I see back ... in my dark days I must say he was the only one who trusted me, nowadays I have got so many friends but in my hard times he was the only person who believed in me. He stood beside me in every thing I screwed up let it be 12th Science, my BCA, my first job... everything. So here I guess... I have said wat I wanted to say about my father and the Passport now lets see what happens next....

Ohh... I am going back...to home...

Yeah... I planned this... a long ago... to be specific did it on 5th December I booked the tickets. This time I am going to have a big Xmas time :) Ofcourse I am going back after almost 1 n half month and I know for sure its going to be fun. I have arranged a lotsa things to have fun.. so catch you guyz after Xmas. :) Happy Holidays....

The Training Day...

Just before last weekend started, on Friday night, I was having dinner with Avi, Prateek and Saurab. Suddenly Avi started saying about the training we are going to get on Email Writing. I was shocked... lil bit amazed and furious too... as I was thinking that what kind of joke it is? After spending these many years (You know if I count my Infocity days too, my total experience is now reaching to approximately 6 years) in the industry and writing thousands of emails to managers/customers/peers I have to go through training on writing emails? That was my first reaction to the whole thing. Also it was mandatory so I didn't have any other option than attending it. I was disappointed at that time but really didn’t know that I am going to be totally wrong in a very near future. So on 18th, Monday morning, I was on my desk on time, but was late for the training but then nobody was there and I thought that I will not have to go to the training. But I was wrong, and after an hour of confusion... running here n there finally we were in... inside the training room. And then I saw our trainer for the day. I'll refer her as MG (Don't wanna be in any trouble). First impression was she was very enthusiastic and organized but as we progressed in the training for the day I saw many qualities which are essential in any trainer. First thing, this was the only training in which I didn’t sleep reason the trainer charged the entire room with energy. There was not a single chance for you to do anything else during the training as she was always watchful and proactive to stop any kind of extra co-curricular activities we would have tried to do. During the training I learnt a good deal of things in Email writing that is trainer was well-prepared, had enough things to teach, didn't use PowerPoint to bore us, was eager to answer our queries and best of all she made the whole session very interactive so that we don’t loose interest. Really it was a whole new experience for me to be in this training as I have never seen somebody training this way.

After the training was over I was thinking that what If all the trainers in India were like this or at least they try to be like this, I can guarantee that things would have been lot easier for all of us. I don’t know why but most of the trainers I have seen lake the essential qualities and then results are well known. Anywayz, I guess I have many more things to say... but then I will be ending up writing an essay instead of a Blog Post.... :)

My Dreams DO try to tell me something... I just dont get it...

Look at the post... below this... just below this post I wrote about my dream, in that dream, I was in a strange condition, I called it strange, but it was shameful...actually.... and it happened... exactly.. the meaning was that only...I was supposed to complete a simple task that I would have done when I was having zero experience of any given technology, and just day before yesterday I saw myself... just like a dumb person ... who doesn't know anything...about simple stuff in computing... it was awful... I would have died... but I didn't... 'cause I am shameless, but one thing is for sure, from now onwards, I'll be extremely careful and may be dangerous on professional front. As right now I am just being soft with the people around me 'cause I just want to make them feel good.. I dint want to unleash the beast that stays inside me... the hidden creature .... the sleeping evilness that I am holding back.... deep inside me... must stay the way it is right now... No No... I am not out of my mind, people who knows me after I entered ETI just dint know... what I am? Only ZWAP knows... how I was, he felt it the very first day he entered ETI and was sitting beside me, but thanks to him, today I am pure....I am clean... I am a nice human being(I am proud to be nice), I wanna stay this way, but people won't allow me to be like this, they want me to open the dark door... they want the beast to be awaken... and I look at them... pity on them... the day I start changing... back to original me.. I'll be a good professional but a useless person... now choice is theirs..... alright... should stop now.... wanna sleep tight.... I wanna start a fresh day.... tomorrow.... peace........

I saw a dream... - My DeJa Wu

Today, when I woke up, just before that... it was going on... in my mind... I do remember... wat was going on...exactly... it was so... intense... I just cant ignore it... the dream in my mind.. said I'll be in a very strange condition, something that is literally impossible, but the dream was suggesting that... repeatedly that I am damn sure.... that it'll happen... one or the other way... well... thats fine... next thing I saw... I was playing some super hero (most probably Neo from the Matrix), and was trying to hit some one ... who was at that moment was powerful than me, and I did see a lot of sci-fi stuff ... too... so I am not quiet sure... what that does mean...I hope that is something... good for me... not quiet... sure though.... anywayz... thats it... I just wanted to blog it so that I dont forget about it...

Sometimes... I just dont get it right...

Hey.. I am back, how many of you have felt this... sometimes... you just feel like doing nothing... all the day... sitting idle... or trying to sleep... looking at the fan.... and just thinking about what you'll do.... or what you'll not do... and so on.... I just faced... yeah... I woke up late as usual and then did absolutely NOTHING for the whole day... just kept surfing the net, orkutting, checking my mails, playing games, occasionally downloading things... but didn't do anything that comes in day to day action plan for a normal human being... my lazy-la-meter is going above 100 points....I see... mess in my room... important documents... are lying like they are week old newspapers having zero face-value.

Its not like that I don't want to do anything, I sometimes... just freeze... just like some beautiful witch has played a time-bound spell on me.. yeah... you are right... sometimes.. I just don't get it right... I hope it will be fixed when I wake up tomorrow morning...

Yeah... I was so excited.... you know when you've planned to go home to celebrate Diwali... you basically put yourself in a top gear... so I was excited. I got ready in the morning, and went to MS as I had a meeting with Rajiv there. I was supposed to get future directions. I talked with Rajiv and was out in 10 minutes. Basically I was not good with advanced technologies, so he told me to get acquainted with WCF. Well... not a problem... as for me... watever is new... is kewl... so I said fine. Then I went back to see off the team members, when I was talkin with Ashwani, somebody came to us and raised a question, 'cause I positively replied to that question, when I reached to HYD airport, it was showing some 3.15. Luckily I came to know from Jet's ticket counter that there was a direct flight to AHM. I was surprised, 'cause as per my knowledge there was not any direct flight. But it was true, there was an internatinoal flight going to kuwait via AHM so I jumped in, but the flight was delayed, it was re-scheduled to depart at 9.30 so I decided to go back to JayaBheri so I can take rest and can roam around. So I went to JayaBheri, but before that I bought something for Kali, as I didnt gift her anything on her birthday recently. At 7 I got a call that the flight is delayed again and will depart at 10.30 so I started at some 8 and got some stuff to eat on the way to Airport and once I reached there... I did take my time to reach to security check. After Security Check again, I waited a lot and at 11.45 the flight took off. so at 1.15 I reached at AHM Airport. Daddy, Kali and Chintu mama were there so I got into the car and started for home, once at home I took some what rest and then went for sleep at 3 in the morning.

yeah...lets forget the other dates.. I am going to blog... almost every day from nowonwards... lets see... for how long I can keep the promise...

I woke up at 4... umm... before 4 AM in the morning... who could sleep when your wildes dream is about to come true? so hardly I slept for 2-3 hours.... but stilll I could wake up and got ready... as usual there were mess... 'cause me == mess as soon as non-computing stuff is concerned. so anyhow I got ready by 5... and we started for Ahmedabad, Air port in 3 cars. See the beauty guyz I didnt forget anything, I got almost everything that I was supposed to take... to HYD.. I broke it.. I published this entry after 8 months from the date you are seeing for this post... :(

A nice day and Gaayatri Yagya....

Hoooooooooooooooraaaaaaayyyy.... Today, there was a gaayatri yagya at our new house. Now its done and we can move in any time.... I am tooo excited about it. Its going to be a whole lot of fun and also it'll bring a lot of things to my life - New friendz, New work schedules, New places to hang around and more .... here are some pics taken during the Yagya...

A day before a nice day

Yoo..... Today is saturday.... one fine day... I woke up late and then I CSed a lot. In the evening everybody moved to Gandhinagar for the Gaayatri Yagya we've arranged at our new house before we move in. I didnt go with them. I waited till 8-8.30 and then took bus to Gandhinagar. When I reached there, I came to know that I dont need to stay there 'cause everything was very well organized and everyone was ready for the Yagya. So I went to Sector 2 and I stayed there for the whole night.

An Average day...

Hmmm.... I got some free time today so I came back to home. At home .... sweet home there was nothing I could eat so I called up Chirag so we can go for a movie. I took my car n went to Subhashbridge. Damn.... we were late... n didnt get tickets so came back. On my way home I bought ice cream, chocolates etc. and when I reached home, I ended up eating everything I bought... huh... n I complain that I m overweight eventhough I dont eat a lot ;)

Yet another celebration

Last week it was Chee's birthday and today Kumar was birthday boy. I got pastries and went to ETI. Also got crystal cover for Arpan's 6630(He got one yesterday). I reached to ETI n did put the things in place n then it all started. Wasted time in the morning.... and did some R&D on ;)... at 3, we all went to cafe and had a lil celebration and had a nice time...

It rains...

Waaaaaaaaaazzzzzzzzzzzzzzup? yeah.......its back.... after a two weeks break(aint this bit long?) it rained a lot... so I stayed back at ETI and came back home... Home Sweet Home...I've a real problem here... when it rains.... I just go out of control.... feelings rise like tidal waves... things look blurry... its not rain... its me who's got the problem after all. Monsoon reminds me... that I am all alone in this world. I've friends, relatives... and a family too... but sometimes...I feel lonely... damn.... lonely... especially during monsoon. The clouds, the fregrance in the air, the wind, sound of raindrops when they hit the ground... I feel like I am being dissolved in it, like I am no more alone... 'cause I dont exist at all... I loose my identity..myself.. and when you dont exist... YOU dont feel lonely... yeah... I dont feel lonely anymore when it rains... alright.... too much for today... I am gonna close this here ... catch ya soon... hopefully ... tomorrow... :)